These last few weeks have been rough. Real rough. I’ve got my blood up – and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to calm down.
Have you ever heard that term before? I don’t know where I picked it up from, but it’s a saying I’ve heard a million times over the years. It means angry. And I can’t think of a better way to describe what I’m feeling right now – mad doesn’t quite cover it.
I’m hot. My blood is up; its boiling.
If you follow along on X, you know something happened on the last day of my trip home to Haywood County. Something bad. No one knows exactly what happened that morning because I wasn’t ready to discuss it.
Today, I’m ready.
On our last day in Haywood County, Kodecker and I took the kids to visit the gravesites of Mamaw, Papaw, and Daddy. It’s a tradition. We both visit their graves every time we return home.
This visit began like any other. We parked the car and hopped out. Kodecker walked down the path ahead of me. Before I made it to her side, she looked at me with an ashen face and screamed: “Daddy is gone!”
I walked up to my grandparent’s plot and looked down. Sure enough. Daddy’s marker was gone. Okay. No big deal. It’s been damaged. I told my baby sis to calm down. We’d ride over to the funeral home to see what happened and if we needed to do anything to have the issue resolved.
So that’s what we did. We rode over to the funeral home.
At the funeral home, not even inside the door, we learned our daddy’s ashes had been exhumed and his stone taken.
You read that right.
In a parking lot, I found out that my daddy was removed from his resting place with his parents – and taken by someone who likely dumped him on the side of the road.
Over the following days, I called the police, the NC Cemetery Commission, and spoke to a lawyer. Somehow this was all legal.
My only options are to sue someone who has nothing worth taking – or do nothing. I’ve opted not to throw my money down the drain.
Luckily, I buried my portion of daddy’s ashes with Mamaw. The stone is being replaced – and if this one is touched, it’s a felony.
That should make me feel better. It doesn’t. My blood is still up. The only comfort I have is knowing that Daddy was a force to be reckoned with.
I hope the person who took him has thought about the cosmic consequences – and isn’t afraid of ghosts. If anyone were likely to come back to haunt someone – it’s my daddy.
Bless you!! Oh my goodness my blood is up for you!! What in the world is wrong with people!!! We’ve had flowers stolen from our church graveyard, but that doesn’t even begin to compare to this. I am so so sorry.
Thank you, Tipper. I’ll never understand the cruelty and coldness that exists in some people’s hearts. I guess it should be a comfort to me to know that my life is wonderful – and the person who did this will never have happy life. People like that waste away in their own misery. Still… it hurts to know that I can take you to the resting places of some of ggggggg-grandparents, but I’ll never know where my daddy is. 🙁
What the heck!? I am so sorry this happened and I would have been outraged as well.
I’m not understanding how this is legal. Did this happen in a cemetery? How is it illegal if they do it a second time?
Though you may not want to go through the legal proceedings for someone who has no money, maybe you can bring a civil suit or something to get them community service time. OR write to the local paper and let them know what happened Write an Op-Ed.
Wishing you peach and justice.
In NC, when someone dies intestate, certain people gain the right to their remains. Daddy died without a will – and so this person had a right to his ashes.
This did happen in a cemetery – in my grandparent’s plot. In North Carolina, you do not own the plot that you purchase. You receive a burial deed. That’s why this person got away with exhuming him from a plot that they did not own.
Though one of my aunts had Daddy’s stone placed, she used the VA to do it. Since this person had right to Daddy’s remains, they also had right to the tombstone that was funded by the military.
Since this person has zero rights to the new stone – as they did not pay for it and it was not funded by the military, to remove it would be a felony.
I could sue for emotional damages – but what good would it do? I know Daddy’s remains have been disposed of because that’s the kind of person that I’m dealing with. I also know this person has nothing and will never have anything. So it would cost me money to sue and I would never get that money returned to me – and there’s no chance I’ll get Daddy back. So suing would be completely useless.
I do plan to reach out to North Carolina state representatives to try to get the current laws changed. No one should be able to dig up remains nearly 15 years after someone is buried for the sole purpose of causing others anguish and sorrow.
And thank ya, ma’am. I’m praying for the same.
Unimaginable atrocity..pure evil.
Hope authorities will solve this.
If not, Karma will!
My deepest sympathy.
Thank ya, ma’am. It was a rough summer.
Cassie,
This reads like the beginning of a Southern Gothic short story or a screenplay. Keep at it. Your Southern voice is a diminishing treasure in a state where the population has doubled and urbanized so much since 1970 with natives no longer dominant.
Jim
Thank you so much. That might be the most beautiful compliment I’ve ever received about my writing. It’s appreciated.