8.13.21

5 Ways To Say It’s Hot Outside

If you’ve never been to North Carolina, let me go ahead and tell you: it’s hot. I’ve seen days reach 107 degrees in Fayetteville before – and that’s not counting the heat index. This isn’t dry heat either. We’re talking about high temperatures combined with humidity to create an atmosphere that feels like it’s boiling.

Over the generations, we’ve come up with several creative ways to describe just how hot it is. Today, I thought I’d share some of them with you – and translate for those of you who are new around here.

Here are 5 to say it’s hot outside in North Carolina:

It’s hotter than blue blazes.

This is the first level of heat that North Carolinians recognize. We start saying this in May when the temperatures start climbing up into the 80s. The heat is bothersome, but we all still continue to go about our merry ways when it’s hotter than blue blazes out.

It’s hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.

Around mid-June, the temps reach the 90s, and we start getting a little crass about the heat. This is when beaches are packed with locals, and families retreat to their backyard swimming pools to cool themselves off.

It’s hotter than a pepper sprout.

By July, we are all dehydrated. Sunset no longer brings the relief of cooler temperatures, and the air around us seems dense. This is what we call hotter than a pepper sprout.

It’s hotter than hell.

When August rolls around, we’re all sick of the sweltering sunshine. No one wants to walk out their front door because it feels like stepping straight into a sauna. Even the ocean is too warm. It is at this point that we all agree it’s hotter than hell.

It’s hotter than two foxes f**king in a forest fire.

This one is reserved for the hottest of hot days when the temps break 100. Those are the days when we hole up inside our homes with shades drawn. We pile into the darkened rooms and sit in front of fans, begging the Lord to please just let this heatwave end. That’s when all of our manners go flying right out the door, and it’s officially hotter than two foxes.

There you have it: 5 ways to say it’s hot outside in the Old North State. How do y’all say it’s hot outside back where you come from? Drop a comment and let me know!

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